Birth Vision Homework

Birth Vison Homework: Five Helpful Questions to Consider with Your Partner…

{and the unedited answers from one Team iBirth™App Mama}

The following questions are designed to clarify your expectations and feelings about the birth of your child.  Do not answer in a hurry.  Both MOTHER & PARTNER should thoughtfully consider each issue.  Your responses will help all of us (the birth team) to work toward the birth experience of YOUR design.

birth vision1.  What fears do you have regarding giving birth?

M {mother}-I fear feeling like a victim or feeling like I can’t do it without medication.

F {father}-My number one fear is something going medically wrong: any emergency that risks my wife or the baby’s health.  Also, I fear feeling paralyzed with fear or not knowing what to do, so I just step back and don’t do anything.

2.  What do you consider your responsibilities at the birth?

M-I feel it is my responsibility to advocate for myself and to try suggestions of my birth team.

F-To be as supportive and flexible as possible.  Flexible with whatever my wife needs in the moment, and that goes along with being flexible to not take anything she says in a negative light.

3.  What do you expect of the midwives?

M-I expect the midwives to be an extension of both my husband and me by guiding us through labor and birth with their medical expertise through the relationship we have been building together over this past year.  I expect the midwives to be caring, loving, gentle, available; but also professional and insightful beyond my abilities.

F-To be leaders.  Since they have the most experience to guide us emotionally and physically through the steps of birth.

4.  How do you envision your labor and birth?

M-Intuitive, emotional, transformative, intense and with moments of fear and doubt.  I imagine myself upright or squatting, changing positions often and being lead to try things I would have never thought of.  I imagine myself both welcoming contractions and fighting contractions.  I can’t quite envision the process between me and my husband but I can envision the inner dialogue with myself.  I know my husband will be great…  I just can’t picture it… I think I need to protect myself from having too many ideas about what it will look like between us.  I want to trust that it will be exactly what it is meant to be without putting too high of expectations on any part of the process.

*I don’t want to know my dilation status, although I’m sure I’ll ask.

F-I envision it being a really intense and emotional time, a lot of tears, frustration, exhaustion, intensity and strength.  I envision seeing my wife in a whole new light, being ushered into motherhood.

5.  Do you have any particular requests or plans to be carried out during labor and/or birth?

M-I need help and support emotionally and psychologically to trust that my body already knows how to birth.  I need to be reminded that I can’t analyze my way though a smooth birth.  I need authentic, hopeful encouraging affirmations to help me trust the process.  I believe strongly in trusting the process in all other areas of my life and I want to be reminded by those that have seen birth before that I can also trust this process.

F-Just to be given direction on how to help and support my wife.

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